Kids' Safety Online

Can you tell if your child is in danger?

This generation is the first to grow up “plugged in.” Most children and teens love the Internet. The Web brings the world closer for kids—making school research projects easier and providing homework help; enabling them to shop and play online; and facilitating friendships and relationships through email, Instant Messaging, chatrooms, and social networking sites.

But the Internet can also be a dangerous place for minors if they don’t receive the proper guidance. Criminals, pedophiles, cyberbullies, and other ne’er-do-wells await the unsuspecting.

Parents should therefore try to guide children and teens on safe Internet use and generate ongoing, honest, and open dialogue about cyber safety. To do so, parents must work to bridge the “digital divide”—the communication gap between generations with regard to the Internet.

Studies reveal that 87 percent of parents say they have established rules for their kids’ use of the Internet, and 69 percent say they feel they know a lot about what their kids do there; yet 41 percent of kids say they don’t share knowledge of their Internet activities with their parents. And 29 percent say their parent or guardian would disapprove if they knew what they were up to on the Web!

Alarming statistics

Recent studies show that predators and bullies do lurk on the Internet:

• 20% of children who use computer chat rooms have been approached over the Internet by a pedophile.
• 25% of youth who received a sexual solicitation reported the incident to an adult.
• 42% of kids have been bullied while online. One in 4 have had it happen more than once.
• 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than once.
• 58% have not told their parents or other adults about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online.

Minimize the chances your of child or teen becoming a statistic

• Learn about the Internet. The more you know about how the Web works, the better prepared you are to teach your children how predators operate and what you can do together to avoid them. Be open to learning about technology so you can keep up with your children and understand the risks they face on the Internet.
• Spend time with your children online. Surf the ’net together and ask them to show you their favorite destinations. Be familiar with your child’s online activities, and talk to them about the sites they visit and the programs they use.
• Place the family computer in an open area. Keeping the computer in a common room in the house is safer than keeping it in your child’s bedroom. It’s a lot tougher for sex offenders and bullies to interact with your child when the computer screen is where you can see it.
• Use tools like parental controls, content blocking, and monitoring software. While you should certainly be mindful of your child’s privacy, if you have reason to believe he or she is getting into an unsafe situation, it may be time to investigate these services. Parental control tools are provided by some Internet Service Providers or are available for purchase as separate software packages. These tools allow parents to restrict websites a child can view from their home computer, or the type of information they can share. Still, no program is a substitute for parental supervision.
• Create a user account for each family member. Most operating systems (including Windows XP and Vista and Mac OS X) allow you to create different user accounts for each member of the family. You, as the household’s computer “administrator,” can give your child a user account with restricted “privileges.”
• Make certain your child or teen knows everyone in his or her email address book or Instant Messenger (IM) “Buddy” list. Is everyone on the list someone you can trust? Online culture has blurred the meaning and definition of “friends.” It’s important that children and teens understand the difference.
• Remember your home computer isn’t the only one your child uses. Find out what computer safeguards are utilized by your child’s school, at the public library, and at the homes of your child’s friends.
• Beware of phone calls or mail deliveries from unfamiliar persons. Predators often call or send gifts to their potential victims in the process of wooing them.
• Teach “trust your gut.” Make sure your child or teen knows that if they feel uncomfortable or threatened by someone or something online, they should tell you or another trusted adult. Encourage your child to speak up.
• Draw up an Internet Use Contract with your child or teen. Agree to some clear, simple, easy-to-read house rules and post them on or near the computer monitor. This is a natural way to start a dialogue about online safety, too.
• Talk to your kid. Talk openly and frequently with your child about potential online dangers large and small: from sexual exploitation, stalking, and identity theft to bullying and spam. Explain how they can protect themselves.

What your child or teen should know

Share these basic tips with your kids:

• Never give out identifying information where a stranger can find it —in your blog, your profile page, your email signature, and so on. Identifying information includes your real name, your home address, the name of your school, your social security number, your telephone number, and financial or credit card information. Keep your user names and profiles as generic and anonymous as possible.
• Never post or share pictures of yourself to people you don’t know personally. Pictures can be altered to embarrass or humiliate. They also provide personal information that can help an Internet predator act familiar by pretending to know you or your friends.
• Never, never, NEVER arrange a face-to-face meeting with someone you met online. Predators will try to trick you into believing that they have similar interests, as a way to make you want a more intimate relationship. Fall for this and you could be endangering your life.
• Never download pictures or files from unknown sources. There is a good chance such files contain spyware, viruses, or keylogging software.
• Never respond to messages or bulletin board postings that are suggestive, belligerent, or harassing. And don’t post such messages yourself! That’s cyberbullying. The Internet provides a sense of anonymity, so it’s easy to say something cruel about your peers, thinking it won’t come back to bite you. It will. Actions have consequences, even online.
• Anything you see or hear online may or may not be true. Rumors, claims, even personal identities and pictures can be completely fabricated—and often are.
• Talk to a trusted adult. If anything seems uncomfortable, harassing, or suspicious, tell someone!

Signs your child or teen may be at risk

You should follow up immediately to find out more about your child’s online behavior if she or he ...

• ... spends large amounts of time online, especially at night
• ... receives strange phone calls (e.g., the caller hangs up when you pick up the phone, or an adult asks to speak with your child)
• ... makes calls to numbers you don’t recognize
• ... receives mail, gifts or packages from someone you don’t know
• ... turns the monitor off or quickly changes windows on the monitor when you come into the room
• ... becomes withdrawn from the family
• ... uses an online account belonging to someone else